Saturday, March 15, 2008

Thoughts Give Rise to Thoughts

What does it mean to think? How much of the thinking process are we aware of? It is fairly clear to me that my awareness is not the same as the thoughts in my brain, my brain, nor my body. Although that ought to be the topic of debate some other time, these are my experiences; I doubt they are unique to me.

I am sitting, clearing my mind. Like a balance, my mind wants to sway one way or another into thought. Thoughts rise from my mind to my awareness. Some are rejected and more rise. Occasionally, my mind relaxes and holds onto one of the thoughts; I am aware of only that thought as it begins to change, and I am aware of my mind following each change, down the rabbit trail, so to speak. Eventually, a thought rises reminding my mind that I am trying to clear my mind and I release my thoughts. To think and to remember, in short term at least, feels very much like I am holding onto the thought which is dictating the thinking or which is resonating the pattern describing whatever I am trying to remember, so that is how I describe it. It is as though the thought describes itself and perpetuates it's existence in my mind in the same motion.

The way in which my thoughts rise to my awareness is what interests me now. With a clear mind, my only thoughts are those which rise to my awareness. It is almost as if this clear-mind-thing is more like a thought which serves to preserve itself in my awareness. It is a thought which perpetuates itself without describing anything, rather than the absence of thought.

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